Sunday, February 21, 2010

This Week's Top Ten

Here are the Top Ten Most Interesting Things That I Learned This Week:

10.- There is nothing good on cable. The only good thing I watched this week was The Prom episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and I have all of the eps on DVD.
9.- I want to go to New York City for a million different reasons but the newest one is that I want to get picked up by the Cash Cab. (Yes, I saw that on cable).
8.- I can consume large amounts of sushi and be completely blissful for the rest of the day.
7.- John Lennon's first love was art not music and he was pretty good at it, we went to an exhibition of his work. He did pretty good in the music department too.
6.- Sometimes I want/need nothing more than a really great song to be playing on my iPod and no other sound in the world.
5.- I only know how to cook three things: French toast, Lasagna, and grilled chicken.
4.- I'm turning into my mother, except for the knowing how to cook part.
3.- When someone tells you you're beautiful you get embarrassed but also there is this part of you that feels warm and elated, if at least only briefly.
2.- I, and my cousin Alex, realized that some cute guys can be complete assholes and run away when your car is stalled and your battery needs a boost but along comes a nice-not-as-cute guy and offer his services for nothing in return but your thanks and he's the one you should like.
1.- I read my Cosmo horoscope and it turns out that I'm having sex on the 3rd of March! Holy #$%#$% I mean on the one hand: how exciting! something besides American Idol to look forward to; on the other hand: that's a lot of pressure to put on all of the Scorpios of the world. If we fail does that mean that we get demoted? That the other good horoscope predictions won't apply to us?

Sorry to say no Ellen Show, we couldn't make it but stay tuned because we will keep trying to go as many times as possible.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Is It Naptime Yet?

At the beginning of last week I woke up in my comfy bed in Phoenix, AZ. This week I am in Los Angeles, CA and in between I was in San Diego. I love travelling :)
Because of a series of events, I traded places with my mom and got on a Greyhound bus from home to San Diego to say goodbye to my little brother (who is off to fight terrorists) and drive back with his truck full of crap prized possessions. Once upon a time when I was a poor college student, I used to ride Greyhound from coast to coast so you would think that an eight hour ride would be a piece of cake, right? Well, it wasn't all that bad but I don't think I'm built for the likes of Greyhound anymore. First of all: why is the most powerful country in the world's bus system so crappy? In Mexico we ride like kings and queens, it feels like you're in a friggin airplane with movies and everything! Why can't I get a movie on my Greyhound? I'm riding through the desert here peeps.
And I'm not trying to compare apples and oranges I'm just saying or rather asking: why?
Second of all: Did the seats get crampier or am I actually growing? Geez, can I get some room for my legs? Wait, this does feel like an airplane!
So the ride, like I said, wasn't all that bad except for the fact that I forgot my water bottle and none of the vending machines would take my $5 bill and no one would give me change. Then I had to use the restroom and of course we stop at the one place where the restroom is two quarters to get in. What is this Mexico? (Actually it was Calexico hehehe) So since we were pretty close to my destination I decided to wait :(
Here a nice lady sits next to me and she seems like she is eager to talk the three hours it's going to take us to get to San Diego. Unfortunately for her I just downloaded Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince into my iPod so she's very much out of luck for about two and a half hours.

Sidenote: Can someone please tell me why Malfoy spent the whole film getting those damn cabinets to work (and killed an innocent canary in the process) if there was going to be no climactic battle at the end? WTF Yates? Don't get me wrong, I love the movie but... I also would appreciate a trailer for the next film ASAP please, thanks.

So the lady next to me is pretty anxious to start talking and when the movie is over she proceeds to ask me a whole bunch of questions for the final half hour we have on our little trip. I arrive in San Diego hungry, thirsty, and wanting to pee. Of course my brother isn't there (he fell asleep), there is no food, and I can't use the restroom. Story of my life.
An old man approaches me and asks me if I speak Spanish. I take like thirty seconds wondering why on Earth he is asking me this question and what the repercussions could possibly be of me answering correctly when he looks at me again and says "are you ok?"
Yes and yes. Turns out the old man just wants me to dial his family's phone number for him on the public phones. He doesn't have enough change so I just dial from my cell and since we are both waiting to get picked up we sit down and he tells me the first part of his life's story. I start getting interested and ask him questions but then he tells me that he is deaf in one ear and partly deaf in the other. Therefore I just let him proceed and I am relegated to the role of pacient and attentive listener. I think one day I want to pull a Forrest Gump and just start telling all of my life to the first complete stranger I sit next to. I'm curious as to the reaction both mine and the stranger's and I'm curious to find out if this person will ever actually let me finish or if at one point they will interrupt me and I will end up being the listener again. hmmm..
Once my brother woke up and remembered that I was in a bus station in downtown he picked me up and as a peace offering took me to Chilis :)
The next morning I drove to McDonald's to get us breakfast. I was so craving a McGriddle and, of course, my coffee when I get there and order.
Me: Two number 6 please.
McD's worker: Two angus burgers?
Me: No, I want breakfast.
McD's worker: We're not serving breakfast anymore.
Me: It's not even 10:30!
McD's worker: We stop serving breakfast at 10:00
Who in their right mind wants an effing angus burger at 10:30 a.m.? WTF? By this time I'm panicking because my cerebral vortex just heard that we are not having breakfast or coffee and I'm hyperventilating. My brother sends me on a wild goose chase for a Starbucks and I almost cry when I can't find it and it's almost noon. I beg him to take me to get some coffee as soon as is humanly possible or I might, I don't know, go into shock or something.
Me: Didn't you read my blog?
Bro: No
See? I'm always the listener.
Ok ok, Valentine's Day. In the sad sad sad fact that is my life, I am, once again, single on Valentine's Day BUT at least I'm not alone because so are my cousins. We make plans to go to the movies and watch Valentine's Day and then do something else and try to forget the fact that we are not going to receive flowers or kisses (chocolate and/or real) today.
What happens when we make plans? You make an ass out of you and me. Or something like that.
First of all, Valentine's Day was the day my bro and I said goodbye and it was in the wee hours of the day, when the weather is very cold and no one has opened their doors and there is no chance of me finding a cup of coffee. We said our goodbyes I got in his truck and turned the key...uh oh. Yes, that sound means that the battery has died.
I must've been a cruel cruel person in my past life.
Fortunately a nice and kind of nice-looking guy asks me if I have jumper cables (I don't) and then enlists the help of others to give the battery a little wake up call. I thank them all and we each go on our merry ways. Now, I've told this story to a couple of people and apparently the whole thing was some sort of sign that God or Fate was sending me and I was supposed to break my leg in front of this guy (or maybe it was faint?) and he'd help me and we would fall madly in love etc. etc. babies in a carriage. I just want to make it very clear that I was in my best form that morning and neither he nor any of the other guys that helped me was interested. I made sure. So there, no miracles on Valentine's Day.
But on the bright side I got to eat my McGriddle!
The afternoon transpired with no major events except that one of my cousins got a dinner invite and jumped the Singles Ship without a life-preserver and swam like a dolphin to Couplesland. So now it's down from five to four. I drive my aunt and grandma to Riverside (at least a 40 minute drive) to visit family, eat some delicious pozole, and have some cake. Since we have the movie and other as-yet-to-be-made plans, my cuz and I leave in her car to go home and regroup. At this point Fendi calls to say she's too busy with homework and can't make it. Since I picked up another cousin from the party we are still a party of four. We plan on going bowling after the movie and thus Saraii jumps ship too because she has to work early in the morning. It's now Alex, Ana and me and it's beginning to look a little sad here, I'm not gonna lie.
And then the phone rings. Apparently I have my aunt's car keys. Yep, she's forty minutes away and I have her car keys. Please, please, no applause. At least it's a laugh, no? Thank God everyone else on the planet was getting their romance on and we didn't hit any traffic. We peddaled Alex's car (which doesn't go over 65 mph) back to Riverside.
Once our stomachs stopped hurting from the laughter we realized that Valentine's Day had come and gone and we didn't do anything. But then we saw that there was a midnight showing of Valentine's Day and the three of us decided to go see it. At three in the morning it was just us coming home but at least we could say there was an "us"; that we have someone who will drive us to faraway places and laugh with us at our stupidity; we have someone who will let us borrow something to sleep in and let us crash on their couch; we have someone to share the memories with.
Next week: Ellen!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

I'll Have My Breakfast With a Cup of Mind-Numbing Pain Please

I always like when the month starts on a Monday because then I have no excuses to make. Like sometimes I'll say "I'm starting my diet on Monday" but then it's like the middle of the month and I'm like "That's too confusing to keep track of, I'll just start my diet on the first" and then... it's a vicious circle. So February 1st was a Monday and I decided, stupidly I might add, that I was going to start my Be Healthier campaign by quitting coffee.


Now let me pause and tell you a little bit about my self: My name is Susana and I am a coffee addict. I'm not Gilmore Girls addicted (oh, how I miss them) but close enough. According to my mom, my grandfather used to drink a huge cup of coffee along with a box of cookies every night. My parents used to get up every morning and the first thing they did was turn on the coffee pot. Every Sunday we read the newspaper and drink coffee. Everyone in my family drinks coffee. Everyone I used to work with drinks coffee. So why quit if everyone else is doing it? Well, because a) I hate that I'm addicted to something (not exactly healthy) and b) coffee is bad for my sensitive tummy.

Unpause. On top of this new crazy idea I also had the delusion that I would go hiking at least three times this week, just for starters.

Yeah, not so much. Sunday we had to meet my brother's advisor and half-way through the meeting I began to feel nauseous. My siblings and I walked a few blocks from there to Burger King and (I must've been sick) nothing on the menu looked appetizin. I didn't want anything! Even though I am one of those people that prefers BK fries to McD's fries. We walked back and I was so dizzy I fell onto the bed and fell asleep. Monday morning I thought nothing of the day before (again, stupidly) and didn't have my coffee even though I wanted it. I wanted it very badly. It just doesn't feel like a day has started until I've had my coffee. It was on this afternoon that a small pain began on the left side of my forehead. I've quit coffee before (usually for Lent) so I was prepared for this to happen but nausea was overpowering.

Tuesday I spent all day in bed and started to feel very warm, this is unusual because I'm cold even in the Summer. I made my way downstairs to the living room and put a brave face on for my family but then I couldn't get upstairs again and slept on the couch, pathetically hugging the pillows.

Wednesday the pain in my forehead grew to the size of a football. This was probably the worst day of all. My body was shaking, I was sweating, the rooms were all turning round and round, and I had lost my appetite for good. I spent the day on the couch. My mom came home that afternoon for lunch and FINALLY asked what was wrong (really? am I that lazy that it takes three days to realize I'm not well?). I gave her my symptoms and prayed that as always she had a remedy. She goes upstairs to her room and hands me a dark-red pill. I'm a little scared.

Me: "What is it?"
Mom: "Just take it"
Me: "You're supposed to offer me a blue pill too"
Mom: "I don't have any blue pills"
Me: "Then I have no choice?!"
Mom: "What difference does it make what color the pills are?"
Me: "A big difference"
Mom: "I have to go back to work. You want the pill or not?"
Me: "I'm a little scared"
Mom: "I don't have time for this! If you want to feel better take the pill"

And so I did, and it worked. Well, it worked for only a few hours. It only masked the pain in my head, I could still feel the football growing, throbbing, behind the veil, ready to attack. That night I fell asleep (or rather, I tossed and turned) on the couch again. By the morning of Thursday I couldn't take it anymore. The pain was so unbearable that I thought of pulling out a tooth or cutting off a finger just so that maybe I could feel something else. I knew there was something else wrong with me but I also knew that my caffeine withdrawal was adding to the shittiness I felt. So I rolled off the couch, crawled to the kitchen, propped myself up to the counter and prepared a pot of coffee. I waited with my mouth dry and my hands shaking for the last drop to fall and then I quickly poured myself a cup. I dropped some milk and threw in some sugar and swallowed that sucker down like I was in the hot desert and it was a cool glass of water. Within seconds--SECONDS--the football-sized pain in my head shrunk to a tiny pea. It was miraculous.

Of course once you complete one task another one is waiting right around the corner. Suddenly, I was famished. Turns out I hadn't eaten in a couple of days (but hey! I lost like two pounds!) and now I was dizzy from having laid down on one side of my head for such a long time. So it took another day for me to get completely better. Methinks that I had the flu or I was trying to fight off the flu during this week and that's what created the double-punch of this week.

Now because I'm trying to be all cheery and positive let's see if I can find a silver lining in all this.


I watched a really good PBS special about national parks and monuments :)
I did lose those two pounds which means that I'm on track for my resolution
My arm feels better (it was hurting from carrying some boxes)
I didn't have to call in sick to work four days because I don't have a job

Well there you go. Next week it's that "holiday" that I'm going to try and be non-negative about (there's no way I'm going to be POSITIVE about it, not when everyone else is getting some).

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

It's Like Divorce Court But Funner!

Tied for nine nominations it's Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker versus ex-husband James Cameron's Avatar. Isn't it exciting?! Only in Hollywood.
It turns out that I'm getting better at this too because out of fifty nominees that I guessed I got 41 correct. For you Math geeks that's a percentage of 82% or for you grade-minded peeps a B :)
So now that we have the definitive list, here are my preliminary guesses.

What? I don't have a job and I can't go hiking because it's going to rain, I hurt my arm, AND I'm being a girl this week :( What else am I supposed to do? Also, the Oscars are pretty predictable by now because all of the awards have been handed out. What they should do is move the Oscars to November. That'll be a surprise.


Best Original Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino for Inglorious Basterds. You have to love QT for writing great, funny dialogue and still blow shit up. Sucks that (500) Days of Summer wasn't nominated because I really liked that movie and it seems that I was probably the only person that saw it because I can't even rent it at one of those Red Box kiosks :(

Best Adapted Screenplay: Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner for Up In The Air. It was a good movie and since they got a HUGE amount of good reviews but they aren't going to win the bigger prizes I think this is their category.

Best Animated Feature: Up. So for some reason I thought that there were only three nominees in this category but it doesn't really matter because Up is going to win. It's the cutest. Best Line: "Squirrel!"

Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker. For several reasons: to flaunt it in Cameron's face, because she's a good director, and because no woman has ever won this award and it's about damn time. My second pick would be Quentin Tarantino because no one does foreplay, er I mean anticipation, like QT.

Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique - Precious. This is probably the most sure category on anyone's list. Mo'Nique is going to win and she will give a good speech. But can I just say how excited I am for Maggie and Anna (probably not as excited as they are, but still). I hope The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn is still filming. If I was Anna Kendrick I'd show up on set and say "Happy New Year bitches, I just got invited to Cinderella's ball. Applesauce!"
Julianne Moore didn't get nominated, instead Penelope Cruz did and since she's my homie it's all good. I'd rather Cruz get nominated than Jennifer "I should've been nominated for El Cantante" Lopez


But never one to let me down I would like to acknowledge La Lopez as Razzie nominee for Worst Actress of the Decade!

courteous applause

Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz - Inglorious Basterds. Eh, I don't really have much to say.

Best Actress: Sandra Bullock - The Blind Side. She has the momentum behind her and if she keeps it up then her Oscar is guaranteed. That's how the Best Actress award is, it's politics more than anything. Sandra has a good career behind her and now this is her best performance in that career, we've come a long way from Speed *sniff*. And because she's that awesome (?) Sandra Bullock could become the first person to ever win an Oscar and a Razzie in the same year. She's up for Worst Actress for All About Steve.

Best Actor: Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart. Wouldn't it be great if the person giving out the award says "...and the Oscar goes to: The Dude" hehehe
Now on to more important matters. Jeremy Renner isn't married *clears throat*

Dear Jeremy,
My congratulations to you for your really good acting in a really good movie. Since you don't have a chance of winning. I also think you did a great job in Zoe, Duncan, Jack, and Jane too bad it was cancelled. It was like the next Friends. Since it's all very nerve-racking, may I offer to go with you to said Oscars as your date and as someone whose hand you can hold and shoulder you can cry on. We can also, as the kids say, get drunk and whatever happens "blame it on the alcohol." I await your response.

I think I've been watching too many Jane Austen movies.

Best Movie: Inglorious Basterds. Ok so if you give me the option of only The Hurt Locker and Avatar I'll go for The Hurt Locker but the more I think about all of the five major films (which I've seen) the more I liked Inglorious Basterds. It was fun, well-written, good acting all around, great directing, and it has a good ending which so few movies have. Take the whole package and my pick is Inglorious Basterds. Now, that's what I want but what will happen...I don't know yet but what I do know is that you don't need 10 films being nominated this year. The five would have been:

The Hurt Locker
Inglorious Basterds
Up In The Air

We'll see on March 7th