Sober May

I just read the last post and realized that only three people probably know what the hell I was writing about. The rest of you possibly thought I literally got drunk. My apologies. Sometimes I write these things so fast that I don't stop to consider that, well, you guys don't know what I'm talking about.

So let's see how I can word this - I've been listening to a lot of Adele, and I know how she feels. I also threw in a bit of Pink, Alicia Keys, a whole lot of Country, and, of course, Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me" which I consider one of the saddest songs ever written.


Got it? If not, then look it up or ask your neighbor.


So with my drunken/foolish/stupid days behind me. I awake to nice little hangover in the beginning of May. As we all know, this hurts. Literally and figuratively. It hurts a lot (Yes, even for cold-hearted Scorpios). All you really want to do is throw up, take an aspirin, and get into bed. Then repeat. You're mood shifts from tired to grumpy to sad (could not have borrowed the Adele CD from Sarai any sooner).
My mom was talking to me about something today and she said, "It was a couple of weeks ago. When you were sick." Yes, yes I was.

"Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then. It is something to think of, and it gives her a sort of distinction among her companions." - Mr. Bennett in Pride and Prejudice.

**I would like to interrupt this blog to report that I just spilled a bunch of water over my table and it almost reached my brand-new laptop. Luckily it did not reach my new toy but that's because it was soaked up by the very important paperwork I had on the table. I want May to be over now!**


BUT... hangovers don't last forever.


**Let me interject once more to say that the last statement should also be applied to the current Hangover movie franchise. Really you guys? It's the same script except they've changed the location from Vegas to Thailand. I realize this has worked for the Fast & Furious franchise but I do think we're all burning an awful lot of good brain cells here. I'm just saying.**


As I pointed out in the last post, May is a stand-alone month this year. The decisions made this month have led me down a different path than if I had stayed in my drunken state. (I really hope you Psychology majors are having fun with my metaphor. Comments and analysis are encouraged). I could've kept drinking but that would've only postponed this blog and probably sunk me deeper into the hole I went into.
Obviously it took me a minute to crawl back up and I still have the sense that I'm off-balance (i.e. I can't listen to Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now"). It might take another month or so to fully cleanse the system and that requires some focus. So for the month of June we (by 'we' I mean "Miss I-Kick-Ass-and-I'm-Going-to-Take-the-World-by-the-Balls" me and "Miss I-Want-Normal-and-Simple" me) are going to:
a) work out and focus on our health. Well, we do share one body;
b) be positive. Which could be fun given the difference in what both 'me's think is considered positive; and
c) regroup. Because, apparently, I've been ignoring a goal that--drunk or sober, one personality or two-- I should've never taken my eyes off of.

So stay tuned for... June Bloom (?) June-Never-Saw-This-Coming (?)Okay, I got a whole month to think about the title. But no worries my faithful readers, you do not have to wait a whole month for the next blog because there was a road trip this past week :-) Stay tuned for the details of our bank heist, hiding in canyons and fighting off deadly snakes, and meeting sexy-yet-dangerous men.

Disclaimer - Some of the details of the next blog may have been created by the author's imagination. By 'some' we mean 'all'.

Mid-Year Update

It’s May. Usually I put up a mid-year blog post to see how things have progressed. I’ve always said that the most interesting things happen to me in the last half of the year. With the prospect of two weddings, a possible week-long vacation, and the usual celebrations, I’m sure the end of 2011 won’t disappoint. But this year I’m jumping the gun on my mid-year update because, quite honestly, it felt like the past four months were jam-packed. Also, I’m predicting that the month of May is going to be a stand-alone month. It may very well define the rest of the year.

Someone told me at the beginning of the year that I had too many resolutions:

1) Work hard and play hard

2) Volunteer/Be charitable

3) Write/Finish certificate program

4) Travel

5) Reverse the curse

Perhaps. It would also explain why January through April was so crazy. In February I took out the “Volunteer/Be charitable” resolution because it didn’t look like I could fit it into my schedule. Yet… I was pretty effing generous the last couple of months and, yes, it counts even though I’m not happy about it. So the resolution stays!

I also sent that $10 text message to the Red Cross 

The first resolution, I have to say, is the best one. I’ve gotten into a good groove at my job, the office is taking shape nicely (finally put up some stuff on the walls), and I have not feared for my job once in the past four months. I’d say that’s pretty darn good. It’s that confidence in the fact that I am good in at least ONE THING that really helps me get out of bed in the morning.

I also bought a sweet new ride and, well, let’s just say that life has treated me very well in the “work and economy” department.

Stay in school kids ;)

There hasn’t been much travel which is both sad and a relief. I went to LA in January to, once again, attend a taping of The Ellen Show. Once again, we left with a crappy gift (a Bruno Mars CD which is good an all but not up to the standard of say, an iPad). I think I’m done with The Ellen Show. I also went to Prescott to visit my peeps for a weekend and play Glee Karaoke (awesome!). At the end of May there is a road trip planned and I still have a week’s worth of vacation time (and a new car!) to plan something else. I think I hear the East Coast calling my name.

I have to admit that my other two resolutions took the biggest toll on me. January started off fine. I thought I knew exactly what to expect. What’s that saying? “If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans.” A small tremor in February warned me that something was happening but it wasn’t until the next month that the earth really shook and chaos ensued.

I completely took it for granted that in March I was starting another class. (Insert sarcastic tone here) Excellent! Just in time.

In my novel writing class we learn that the key to a good story is to keep piling on trouble onto the protagonist.

By mid-March I knew I was in a novel.

What to do? What to do? This is the moment when one’s brain is so flooded with information and choices and dilemmas that it literally shuts down.

Therefore, one loses the ability to think rationally.

Therefore, one does stupid things.

No regrets. I think it’s healthy to do something stupid every once in a while: jump out of an airplane, get really drunk, jump off a cliff (that one’s a metaphor).

So let’s just say that in April I got really drunk and jumped off a cliff (I won’t jump out of an airplane cuz I don’t like to fly). During said drunkenness I also considered dropping one of my classes, which would’ve impeded me from obtaining my certificate :-0

With a slight hangover, I would like to give a warm welcome to Sober May.