Cali 101 - Redwood Highway

May 11th

Turns out Portland is a bit farther away than I thought so today I have to hustle. Unfortunately, this means that I can't take my detour along the coast of Oregon which I hear is just awesome. On the bright side, I have an excuse to come again.

Once you leave San Francisco the name of the highway changes to Redwood Highway and it's pretty self-explanatory, no? There are thousands of Redwoods hovering over you as you drive by. The road winds its way around them so as not to disturb them. At one point they are so close together and so high that they block out the afternoon sky. Never drive this highway at night. Last night I thought I'd drive a couple of hours more until I found myself in complete darkness on a winding road. I had no idea what was around me. Was I on a mountain? Was I still surrounded by vineyards? If I keep going will I be sucked into a time vortex and find myself in 1955? It was very scary. Plus, if you drive at night you'll miss the view. And it's a hell of a view.

The highway meets up with Route 199 which is very narrow and windy. Because I had to watch my speed I was now definitely cutting it close to Allende's lecture. Finally I caught Interstate 5 and it's full of Christmas trees! They're everywhere, you'd think Santa would live here instead of the North Pole. Plus it's crazy clean because they have a littering fine of up to $6,250. They don't fuck around to Oregonians. I don't think I can find a single bad thing to say about Oregon. Like not a one. I'm so going back.

I reach Portland with about an hour to spare and that is not good because I have no idea where the theater is. I pull into a 7-Eleven to buy a map but get something better: cops. They're in an unmarked car (?) but both very cute and very nice. Apparently I'm close, but we know that means nothing because I will still make it with a couple of minutes to spare. I will take a wrong turn and pass the place I'm supposed to be at twice without knowing and then find it by accident. And I do.

Cali 101 – San Francisco

May 10
Get your motor running…
What's that?
Head out on the highway…
There's this tingling sensation in my blood.
Looking for adventure…
Yes! I think it's time for a road trip!
Born to be wiiiilllld!
Yes friends the opportunity has presented itself for me to, once again, get in my car and drive, drive, drive. I found out a couple of weeks ago that my favoritest writer in the world, Isabel Allende, is doing a book tour and she would be in Portland, Oregon on May 11^th. "Portland isn't that far from LA, I could probably make it there and back in three days," I thought. Of course my plans never EVER work out which is why I bought the ticket on a whim and informed my family a mere two days prior that I was going to leave. The more random the better, we all remember what happened during The Great Phoenix Escape of 2008. Exactly, no more plans for me.
Well, no concrete plans. I still need a route of course. So looking at a map I decided to drive north on Highway 101 which starts here in Los Angeles and is known as the Hollywood Freeway and ends in Washington state in Port Angeles. Yes, that Port Angeles and yes, it takes you right through a once-unknown small town called Forks. Stop smiling now, I didn't go that way. I'm just giving you some info so you know. Actually, had I the time I might have been tempted to venture to Forks and take a picture with their sign, go to the hospital and see Dr. Cullen's parking spot, and go to the local café and order a "Jacob Blackberry Cobbler" (Am I the only one who thinks that sounds dirty? It reminds me of "pie-flavored balls"). But tempting as that great cultural event might have been, there just wasn't enough time. Also, the weather was warm and sunny so there wouldn't have been any vampires anyway.
As I was saying, the route I chose was Highway 101 to San Francisco all the way up the coast of Oregon and then a small highway to Portland where I would catch Allende's program, get my book signed, and then take Interstate 5 South and be back in LA on Wednesday. Sounds simple, no?
We begin Monday very early in the morning and excitement running through my veins because today I get to go to San Francisco, a city I've wanted to visit since my young days plastered in front of the television and watching Full House. By the way, I found this out after I had purchased my ticket, Allende was also going to have a program in San Francisco (where she lives) which included a dinner. But spoiler alert I'm not regretting any of it.
I had my healthy breakfast of donuts and coffee very early and needless to say that fat kid was hungry as the morning went on but I was planning on arriving in SF early and I thought "I should go to Chinatown and eat Chinese food, I bet it's bomb there." I should travel with someone just so that they can contradict every plan I have, things will go smoother.
In the meantime I am driving with clear blue skies, my iPod blasting all kinds of randomness, the ocean on my left, and vineyards on my right. It's absolutely gorgeous. I stop in a little place called Morro Bay because the sign said that Hearst Castle was that way (it wasn't) and I walked along their town for a little while to stretch my legs. The people where very nice and the town was serene (and the bathrooms clean). I took a few pics and headed on my merry way and then…it took a while for me to get back on the highway. See what happened was that I had to get off and get on Pacific Coast Highway (US 1) to get to Morro Bay but on my way back I apparently took a different route and well I didn't get lost per se but it took longer for me to get back to where I was. On the bright side the views were incredible. The road winds through a forest full of trees, rivers, and creeks and vineyards. It was awesome.
Regret Number 1: With all of the views that I saw and the nature surrounding me the whole way I totally regret leaving my film camera in Mexico. BOTH OF THEM. I had my mom's digital camera with me and it takes good pictures but a) it puts the date on every picture and b) call me old-fashioned but nothing captures the beauty and light of Mother Nature like film. Digital cameras are great because you can see the picture you've taken but in the end they are just millions of pixels attempting to re-create reality, it's just not the same.
After a while I get back on the 101 and then reach San Francisco (yay!). Of course as soon as I reach the city things get crazy and I take a weird turn and then I'm in a random neighborhood and I can't see the Golden Gate Bridge or the city. Shit shit shit. To top it off I tried to follow my instinct and keep heading north and I ended up going around in a great big circle. By this time I'm lost and starving AND I had wanted to take the ferry to Alcatraz which stopped making trips at four. So I stop at Walgreens and buy a map and realize that I'm waaaay on the other side of town. Ok. So drive to downtown and I pass right by Chinatown like three times and can't find a place to park. By now I've given up Alcatraz, by now all I want is to eat and screw the city. There are people everywhere, in cars and on foot, the parking costs are extreme, and at one point a cop is driving behind me for like ten minutes making me even more nervous than I already am.
Finally I find a parking spot and I only have enough change to buy thirty minutes worth of time and it's downhill. So I say a little prayer that my car doesn't give up on me and fly downhill and rush to see as much as I can (actually I was rushing to get some food). Somewhere on the street there is this woman handing out coupons for dim sum and I tell her I want some Kung Pao Chicken. I think she says ok and we go inside where it's completely empty (never go in a restaurant where there aren't any people) and she writes down my order. As this is going on my stomach growls and I ask for a side of fried rice too because just Kung Pao Chicken isn't going to fill me up. She asks me some more questions and I just nod because I don't quite understand what's going on and then my total comes: $27.70.
WTF?!
Since the price of parking is ridiculous I briefly think that the food is also very expensive until I look at the ticket and see that she has charged me the same amount four times. Um…I just want one. I tell her as much but I don't think things are getting through to her and I'm signaling to the cook not to start anything. I mean maybe a few weeks ago I would've made a fat kid joke but I lost five pounds! No way am I going to eat that much food, I'm even a little offended. So she understands that it's just one order but they can't make it for one so I have to leave, and honestly I'm probably hungrier than when I went in. Turn the corner and there's a place that sells Chinese food a la mall food and I quickly order because by now the meter is running low. With food in my hand I trek back to my car.
Confession: I also have wanted to go to San Francisco so that I could go up a steep sidewalk and say: "Girl I been shaking my ass all the way up this hill". Except it's funnier if there's someone with you.
Afterwards I drive and try to capture as much of San Francisco as I can and after an hour or so with the random rain coming down I decide it's time to leave. In all honesty I didn't like San Francisco very much and I know I can't decide in a couple of hours if I like something but the first impression counts for a lot and I wasn't all that impressed. Did I mention that I found the Hispanic neighborhood? I did, it was all very sudden but it just goes to show that wherever I am I have no trouble finding my peeps. Because I'm so hungry and because it's called Taqueria Vallarta I jump in a quickly munch on some beef tongue tacos which left me quite disappointed, not unlike the city itself. Going towards the Golden Gate Bridge I get lost for another hour (how hard is it to miss the damn thing? Have I mentioned that I haven't actually eaten my food? It's just sitting in the car).
When I finally see the bridge and I'm pretty sure that I can't possibly make another wrong turn, the clouds open up and the sun shines down. It's beautiful you guys, absolutely beautiful. It's also huge and overwhelming. I can't even begin to understand how this thing was built. It is high above the water and just the materials are gigantic and it stretches high into the sky. I'm not gonna lie, I shed a little tear and I left the sense of disappointment behind.
Tomorrow: Will I actually get to eat my Chinese food?

The Spark is Lit But Where's The Torch?

Wow, you go home for a couple of weeks and think "I'm gonna rest, maybe do some hiking, go watch a movie..." and instead all eyes are on Arizona because of a law that was passed intended to...well the intention depends on who you ask. My point in this is not to argue the law (yes, I've read it. No, I'm keeping my opinion to myself.) but to talk about the movement that really has a chance at catching fire again. Back in 2006 I seriously thought that "the sleeping giant had awakened," remember the massive marches from Los Angeles to Chicago to Dallas? Holy shit! I didn't know what the hell was going on but I remember thinking "this could change everything."
And then...not so much. The only thing we proved is that there are A LOT of Hispanics in the United States. But by the next day things quieted down and every year when we are called again to march in the streets for immigration reform let's be honest we all have other things to do. And so the Bush administration did nothing and Mr. Obama is all "Wha?"
But then again why should they do anything? It's not like we're going to...march in the streets every single day? boycott public transportation? get arrested for civil disobedience?
True, several people have done what I've just mentioned though not thousands and definitely not the millions of people who are here legally and support immigration reform and not the other millions of people who are here ilegally and want a solution. What are we waiting for? The politicians in Washington? Just in case you weren't paying attention: They don't like each other over there! No way are they going to come up with a solution any time soon (in fact the President said they wouldn't). And even if they did, would that make everything better between the people. Are the people of Arizona going to say "oh, they're legal now everything's fine" (P.S. 50% of the people in the WHOLE COUNTRY support AZ's law). Like when the teacher says "say your sorry and shake hands" c'mon we all know we don't mean it. Because at the core this debate is about how we, as Hispanics, are perceived by everbody else and a federal law isn't going to change that. What we have a right and a responsibility to do is fight. Fight the misconceptions against our countries, our families, and ourselves.

To start, let's clear some things up:

1) We are not all Mexican. Below Mexico there are several other countries where millions of people live and they are not Mexican just because they crossed the border in Tijuana, Nogales, or El Paso. So stop calling everyone a Mexican and learn the countries.
Special opportunity: When the FIFA World Cup starts next month it will be easier to tell where someone is from because we will all be wearing different jerseys to support our teams.
2) We are not all brown. Yeah, not so much. Let's all crack open a history book and read again the story of when Hernan Cortez (from Spain) conquered the Aztec empire and many many Spaniards came over. Also, many Japanese people live in South America and Philipinos tend to have Spanish surnames. Hispanics come in all different colors, sizes (as in my case), and dialects (historia verdadera).
3) Yes we can speak English. Hint: if you can read this, you can read English and since I wrote it, it must mean I paid attention that day they taught the ABCs and the 123s at school.

Ok, since this is "fair and balanced" blogging let's turn to what the Hispanic community can do to help out:

1) Education, education, education. The "better life for our children" argument doesn't work if our children continue to get the worst grades and/or drop out of school. Of the kids that drop out of school Hispanics make up about 20% of that total.
2) Let's clean up. We all know when we are crossing neighborhoods, it's not like we have to go with a guide to tell us "here's where the Hispanics live and here's where the Whites live." And trust me, it's a big issue with people passing through and see junk cars, grafitti, ugly fences, shopping carts all over our grocery store parking lots, cash advance spots, and liquor stores. A big thing in this country is the impression others have of us, let's make a good impression.
3) Let's remember: El Pueblo Unido Jamas Sera Vencido. It's one thing for us to argue about who has the best soccer team but let's remember that here in the United States a long time ago we were all put under one category and despite our differences we have the power to use this as a strength. We have similar values, we speak a mother tongue that unifies us, and we are the largest minority. Imagine all of us working together for a common purpose.

As the great Mahatma Ghandi once said "Be the change you want to see in the world." I want to smile in the face of those who see me and think "stereotype, stereotype, stereotype" and prove them wrong at every single turn. And I believe if we all do it, this law doesn't have two feet to stand on and the kids in Washington will have to stop their bickering and pay attention because this country needs Hispanics, plain and simple.

Yes Dorothy, but where is home?

By the time I graduated from high school, I had been to twelve different schools. One a year in different cities, states, and countries. When I got to college it became important that I know "where I was from." Until then I just said "Nowhere, everywhere", but on the program for graduation it says Norwalk, CA (not to be confused with Norwalk, CT which is way more famous).
Ok, fine. Technically at that point Norwalk was the closest thing to a hometown as anything. After all, my aunt has lived in the same house for over thirty years and I had learned to walk in that house; the first phone number I learned was hers (still the same); and I graduated from Norwalk High School (funny story: my cousins all graduated from another school even though they lived in the same city, we were rivals).
A couple of years later on a very VERY hot afternoon and mostly by accident, I landed in Phoenix, AZ. Back then jobs were plentiful and the city was growing, it was easy.
Now we've lived in this city for years (definitely the most we've ever lived anywhere) and, dare I say it?, I think this might be home. All of you know that I've been trying to get out of Phoenix ever since that fateful afternoon but I think my inability to leave is as much fate as it is me, almost willingly, coming back every time.
I've been driving back and forth between Phoenix and Norwalk a lot during the last few months and I feel the pull of one stronger than the other. Consider these key points:
1.- My license is from Arizona. I present my license in California and people look at me suspiciously like "why are you here?"
2.- I can't check out any books at ANY library in the whole county of Los Angeles. Do you know how many libraries that is? A shitload, that's how many. And I'm barred from all of them because I "lost" a book almost ten years ago. BTW, this point is the one that hurts the most because I also can't use the wi-fi.
3.- "No reunion information is available" that's what is says in the school website. Not that I'm at all interested in going to the reunion but I'd sure as hell would like someone to remember that I once existed. Besides, looking at the yearbook I'd say that "single and unemployed" is probably not the worst thing at my high school.
4.- I don't know where anything in my aunt's kitchen is at and I basically use the same pan for everything. I also don't like their version of the Ranch Market and the layout of the Target is different (i.e. confusing) than mine.
5.- I need a map to navigate the freeways, there are at least three ways to get wherever it you are going in California. Holy shit! Now, I've gotten a whole lot better at the freeways and have gotten lost way less often than usual but I really miss just taking the streets.
So yes, I'm constantly trying to leave and find where the hell I belong and what I'm supposed to do but I think I've definitely realized something very very important:
I am from Phoenix, that's where my home is.

Dear Void

It's been 20 days since my last post and that wasn't really a post more like me giving one of those "hey, don't worry I'm still here but feeling shitty" kind of things. Judging from the amount of responses to that post and from the "hey why haven't you posted anything?" e-mails I'm going to deduce that the total number of people reading this blog are: 0.

HELLO GREAT VOID! HOW THE F(*& ARE YOU TODAY?!

I mean I understand, lots of other things have been going on in the world and, honestly, if something remotely interesting were going on in my life then I'd (you guessed it) blog about it. Therefore I'm not mad at anyone.

Because I have no readers to be mad at.

I sort of feel like Craig Ferguson, except famous people visit him. hmm...

Anyway, just to update so that I don't lose track of what's going on:
- I started my Film & Literature class and I'm truly excited because I love movies and reading and that class puts the two together. I also scored a brownie point from the professor for liking Maggie Gyllenhaal. There you go.
- I went to the park once to work out and once to lie on the grass while my nephew played. Progress.
- I'm almost 95% sure that I can predict when an earthquake is going to hit.
- I'm also pretty sure that I heard "someone" calling my name. By someone I mean a GHOST!
- I think I've driven the Los Angeles/Phoenix route so many times that I can drive it without actually having to think.
- In Season 8 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Twilight was unmasked and it's actually...wait for it...ANGEL! Oh how I love those two together.
- I think I'm losing my sarcasm which is the only reason to be grateful that no one is reading this because without my sarcasm then these posts are just plain depressing.

hmmm...

Well tomorrow is Monday and I always enjoy starting things on Monday, let's see if we can't pick ourselves up, brush our shoulder, and get going.

Tray Tables Up, Head Between Your Knees, We Are About To Crash

Yeah, it's that kind of week. The kind where I have very little to do and suddenly I start thinking. Thinking is bad. My advice: always try to keep busy, avoid thinking. Avoid the realization that the days and nights are all the same, that your phone will not ring no matter how much you stare at it, that it doesn't matter if you change out of your pajamas today or the next day or the next one after that. It's that thing that leads to insomnia at night (although I do get to watch Craig Ferguson and laugh a little bit); the thing that leads to lots of unnecessary sleep in the mornings; its what makes Country music and Alicia Keys so popular; and leads to not wanting to eat (hello! fat kid here).
To sum up, this is my week:

"There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall."
-Colette, Freedom, 1908

I Wonder Where Lost Brain Cells Go

Most of this week I spent it at my aunt's house in Los Angeles and while I have been keeping busy I've also been keeping my butt down on the couch watching television.

This is why I don't have cable. I totally forgot but now I remember: It's because it kills your brain!

No seriously there isn't anything actually on that is worth watching but somehow I can manage to have the television on 24/7. In the mornings it's the only time that MTV and VH1 play any music videos so you have to take advantage of that. Whoever heard of a channel playing music videos ALL THE TIME? It's crazy, why would they do that when they have such other great things like Keeping Up With the Kardashians and 16 & Pregnant? and VH1 does such incredibly thought-provoking shows like Hottest Bodies of the 90's (Mark Wahlberg was No. 1). Then I watch like two hours of Cash Cab and The Sopranos and sometime in the afternoon I watch the Travel Channel which is not really the Travel Channel it's more like the Travel and Eat Channel (my fav is Man vs. Food). At night you don't know what to watch: A movie on AMC or TBS? More Food Network? or now my new obsession American Idol.

How the hell did I get roped into American Idol? Why do I now these people's names? argh!! I used to only watch the auditions because I like laughing at people but now I'm all rooting for Crystal like I give a damn. This show doesn't even create good artists except for the original idol Kelly Clarkson...

You see? Why do I care? And why did I look up when Jersey Shore starts up again?

My problem with all of this is that it's ridiculous stuff that's on television these days that create nothing but more idiots that say to themselves "I should think of something incredibly stupid and maybe I'll get my own tv show." Geez even the politicians seem to be on this bandwagon. How about we all educate ourselves? How about we create something that is worthy of creation and worthy of being put into our history books? How about you stop showing Lara Croft: Tombraider on AMC and then say that your logo is "Story Matters Here"? Nothing against Angelina Jolie but I would've picked about ANY OTHER ONE OF HER MOVIES. I'm just saying, live up to your motto.

So after this week (it's Oscar week) I'm going to follow the rule my mom tried to impose on us when we were kids: only two hours a day of television. That's it. I'm going to start exercising (yeah right), finish reading my book (which I already forgot the title of), and get some damn work done (not actual work of course, cuz I cut that shit out).

And speaking of the Oscars: I stand by my predictions in my previous post except for Best Picture. I want Inglourious Basterds to win but I don't think anything can stop the bomb dismantling team of The Hurt Locker so that's my pick.