On your mark...

Happy 2010 everybody!
This great new year has started well and I hope it at least keeps up the same way. Started the year on the beaches of Puerto Vallarta, surrounded by family, a blue moon above us, and a bay-full of fireworks. We got to the beach about a half hour before midnight, there were people everywhere and we even got to witness a marriage ceremony a few feet away (btw, that's the second marriage ceremony I came across in two weeks. Sign?). No one was sure exactly when the countdown was happening but suddenly fireworks lit up the sky in vivid colors, we all hugged and cheered and were merry. For a moment all woes are forgotten and we don't care that just a few hours ago we were arguing. We went back to the apartment and there was a huge blockparty which lasted all night, and I do mean all night, because I heard drunken karaoke in my sleep until morning.
We decided to leave on the 1st, because who doesn't like to travel on a holiday? In my defense, I did wake up early and attempted to get one final tanning session before we left but the tide had risen and we decided to head back. After much cleaning :( it was time to say goodbye and drive back.
In case I didn't mention this before: the drive time is roughly 24 hours between PV and Phoenix. That doesn't include the time to cross the border (I'll get to that).
The drive went mostly withot incident except that I was super-tired and had to pull over twice or possibly run off the road.

Sidenote here: For anyone who is worried about driving through Mexico (and I read a lot of posts that say DON'T DO IT) I have to say that my experience was blissful, the roads were great, and we were never harrassed. The road felt the same as if I was driving through anywhere in the States (and I've driven quite a bit), there were plenty of gas stations, and lots to eat. My only complaint is that the bathrooms suck and on top of that you have to pay to get in. Bring your own toilet paper.

Story Time!
We stopped at a place along the road to eat some chicken as we were heading to PV and I asked the lady if there was a restroom I could use.
CHICKEN LADY: Do you only have to pee?
ME: Ummm, yes.
CHICKEN LADY: Well we don't have a bathroom but there's a room over there with a hole and you can go there.
ME: Thanks, I think I'll hold it.
This is why I don't go camping.

So the trip turned out fine until we got to Nogales which is the last city in Mexico before you are allowed to go into Arizona aka the US of A. There I was driving at a speed which I am not sure is legal or not, because the signs are in kilometers and I forgot how to convert that into miles and I don't have a calculator anyways, when I see a speed bump (and it's a pretty huge one) right in front of me. I slam on the breaks, burn the rubber off my tires, make a pedestrian spin around twice, and still fly over the bump. Given the fact that I leave a stench of burning rubber and a man unable to tell his left from his right, the police really have a right to pull me over. And they did. The federal police. Once again I'm on a road trip and a cop pulls me over and once again I look like a complete mess. I look like I've been drinking hard liquor all night and I smoked a couple packs of cigarrettes. And I'm not even wearing my good bra either. We are in deep shit here peeps.
Senor Federali asks me for my license which I oblige (American, strike one) and then he sarcastically asks me if I'm in some kind of a hurry. What I wish to say is "yes, I actually have to pee and I'd like to cross the border quickly to do that" but instead I calmly explain to him that the massive bump is the color of the road and I, being blind, didn't see it in time. This falls on deaf ears and then for some reason another cop comes and asks me the same question. ??? This guy says he should impound the car and make us wait until MONDAY to get it back, which sounds ridiculous because I didn't even do anything wrong except perhaps contaminate the environment a bit more with my tire's tread burning into the atmosphere, but since he's a nice guy (sarcasm right there) he's letting us go with a warning.
Um, thanks? I'll try not to jump over speed bumps that I didn't see next time.
For the record: We didn't pay these men a single peso and I kind of used the kids as I was explaining my story. Something like "do you think I would put my family's life in danger (point to children in the back)?"
My mom got pulled over a few days before for the same reason. She had a sweet old lady in the passenger seat and said "do you really think I'd be speeding if I have an elderly person with me?"
The moral of this story: When driving always have either kids, an elderly person, or a pregnant woman with you. You can get out of a ticket and, in the case of the pregnant woman, get a prime parking spot at the grocery store :)

We FINALLY reach the border but it's a border that is above Nogales and we think not many people know about. Well we were wrong and on top of that there is only like one lone border patrol agent. We sat for two hours (p.s. I still have to pee) and moved only about a quarter of a mile. My mom walked all the way down and half an hour later she says "they close at six (soon) and re-open at ten and then wait to cross. Should we leave?"
YES, I think we should leave! We may as well have had the car impounded at the rate we're going. I could've given that Federali a piece of my mind, gotten thrown in jail, used the bathroom, and then come back and we'd still be in line! I'm writing a letter, this is ridiculous. I've got a damn passport in my hands, that's the requirement. Why do I have to wait in line? Why?!

That was my rant for today

We go down to the OTHER crossing, wait ANOTHER TWO HOURS, and finally make it to Arizona. Ten minutes later we're at a McDonalds, everyone has peed, and we're eating. Good times.

Update on resolutions: Since I used the weekend to rest my "eating healthier, doing exercise" crap starts Monday. For the record, I currently weigh...175 lbs. (I don't know the conversion but it looks better in kilos).